What I've Realized I Want...

I want someone who isn’t embarrassed to be with my weird goofy self. In fact, I want someone who loves that about me. And who can act like that too. I want someone who can rap. It’s a weird thing to want, but I want it. Mostly because I’m not the best rapper, so I want to practice more, but I am awesome at beat boxing so I can “boots n skirts” it while they’re rapping. I want someone who not only doesn’t mind my obsession with sparkly things, but encourages it. Although not through fancy jewelry. I need someone who will buy me bedazzles when I run out. And who won’t say anything when at least 1 piece of every outfit is sparkly. Also, I’ve gotten pretty attached to headscarves since being in Africa. So I’ll be wearing them when I’m in my leisure clothing a lot. And probably sleeping in them. They really help my hair from getting super greasy. Although when I’m back in America I’ll wash my hair again more than twice a week, probably. So even if I look stupid in headscarves (which I’m pretty sure I do but I’ve convinced myself I look awesome), I want someone who pretends they aren’t completely stupid all the time. Or at least doesn’t stop dating me because of them. I want someone who will join My iPod. They don’t have to be the lead singer (cause I am) or guitarist or violinist (cause Corn is), or tambourine player (cause Meg is) or manager (cause Sarah is). They can play something cool, like the spoons! Also, I need someone who will sing karaoke. I LOVE karaoke. Seriously, it’s one of my favorite things. I need someone who will do that with me and look just as stupid as me. I want someone who likes to watch scary movies, or who at least pretends to like to watch scary movies. Because I love watching scary movies. Especially when cuddling, so it’s not like they wouldn’t get anything out of this either. The person I end up with must be weird. But they cannot be socially awkward. I can’t do socially awkward. And I can’t spend all my time trying to make them feel like their weirdness is okay. They have to love their weirdness as much as I love mine. Then we will take on the world together! I want someone who wants to travel. Because I want to travel. But I also know myself and I’m pretty bad at planning, so I need someone else who wants to do it too so we actually do it. I want someone who wants a family, maybe, I don’t know. I go back and forth on this. I think I do want kids. Or at least one. I think I’d be really good at being a mother. I would totally get this fairy tale mural painted in the nursery and I would be just as much of a child as my child (when we were playing, I could be an adult too when it comes down to it). And I would play it music and make it take piano lessons even if it wanted to quit because children don’t know what they want when they’re in fifth grade (thanks Mom). And we would travel with our kid(s), because I’ll be damned if they grow up without culture or without seeing how amazing the world is. I want someone who wants all of that and is right there with me acting like the friendly dragon (cause why do all dragons have to be mean?), and playing chopsticks with our child, and carrying it up the 15^th castle we’ve seen in Germany that day because someone is obsessed with castles (this will be my dad’s dream trip). I want all of that. 

But mostly, I want someone who makes staying with them look easy, or at least possible. I want someone who is 50% the decision maker (or let’s be realistic 40%). I want someone who wants me to find what I love and do it. Even if that means helping me find a way to tag along with Nat Geo explorers in residence. Actually, that should say Especially if that means helping me find a way to tag along with Nat Geo explorers in residence. Cause I would totally want the same thing for them, and if they were already a Nat Geo explorer in residence, then that would make my life goal that much easier. I want someone who doesn’t obsess about money (although obviously it will be something to take into consideration). But I don’t want money to be their purpose. Money should never be someone’s purpose.

I want someone who thinks I’m just the bees knees. And that will fight for me. And I will try to not make them have to fight for me. But I’ll totally fight for them too. All of my violent urges to punch people (but I always ask them first – they usually say no so I don’t) will finally come in handy. And I’ll like them so much that I won’t even ask first and totally just punch someone and they’ll bail me out of jail and find someone to get the assault charges taken away. I want someone who understands that I should not dance while chopping vegetables, but also realizes that I can’t cook without dancing, so they’ll obviously take over all the deadly knife work while cooking. And they’ll also think I’m endearing when every time I try out a new recipe I tend to set it on fire. But the second time it normally rocks! I want someone who dances with me to Call Me Maybe, and doesn’t give me a stupid lecture on how lame the song is. Because, seriously, IT’S A HAPPY SONG! The world has too much sadness in it already, who cares if it’s stupid? It makes me smile and dance, so I don’t see what’s wrong with that. The same goes for Glee, and Pitch Perfect and most Top 40 songs. I want them to understand how important my friends are in my life, and I’ll do the same for them. And I also want them to realize that they’re really lucky that my family is so awesome, because I’ve met other peoples’ families and they are not all as fantastic (and adorably weird) as mine. I want someone who respects my Peace Corps service, but doesn’t just put it on a pedestal, or ignore it, but who actually cares to listen about the things I went through.

 I want someone who will car dance with me. And car sing. It’s an important past time that I’ve had to introduce to many people, and I’m fine to introduce it to them, but they must do it. Let me just do a quick aside on dancing in general. I have some awesome dance moves. They include micro dancing, finger dancing, and leg dancing. Leg dancing can be dangerous, it’s kind of like you’re pawing the ground like a horse, but awesomer. I almost kicked Corinne in the face once when we were doing it. And those are just my dance moves with names. I’m a dancing fiend. And since being in Africa, I don’t have a chance for other people to see my dance moves that often, so I’m pretty sure they’re getting weirder and weirder. So they need to not be embarrassed that my dancing skills are better than theirs. And they need to dance with me, especially to awesome songs like Call Me Maybe (yeah, I know I’ve mentioned Call Me Maybe twice already. It was a big hit when I left and I haven’t had much exposure to new music in the last eight months, so deal).

 Also, they need to be an accepting weirdo, I’m weird, most of my friends are weird, and they need to accept them for being weird. Just like I’ll try to accept their weird friends. Also, they need to realize that if I ever get a pet, I’m going to be such a pushover and it’s going to be very pathetic. Just be prepared. And finally, I want someone who doesn’t want me to change. I don’t want to make someone change. And I refuse to do it for someone else. Well I mean, at least the important things. There are some things I really should work on. But that’s why I have friends, so they can tell me which is which.